Retail trolling experiences.

[JubeiSaotome]

In this thread, we discuss how we & others have been trolled by customers while working in retail.

Case 1:
A customer returned a set of towels because they were "Too fluffly". Obviously, they've never owned towels before and need to learn to wash before use.

Case 2:
An english as second language customer returned their child's bike to the store for repair. The problem? It had a flat tire.

[Jickle]

One time, working at the ol' phone store, an old lady came in and babbled at me for half an hour about someone being rude to her on the phone when she rang up Telstra (something that I couldn't help her with, as my store was a Telstra dealer, not a Telstra licensed store). On reflection, I think she was actually talking about the automated voice you get when you call up Telstra. So essentially a geriatric old lady came in and complained that a robot that I have no control over wasn't polite to her.

[JubeiSaotome]

Also, the number of people who tell me that they are unimpressed or unhappy with how Big W has changed with removing garden centres and reducing range as if it's the grunts fault is mindblowingly hilarious. I am the CEO of Big W and I work filling stock out of cages.

[Stevorooni]

Also, the number of people who tell me that they are unimpressed or unhappy with how Big W has changed with removing garden centres and reducing range as if it's the grunts fault is mindblowingly hilarious. I am the CEO of Big W and I work filling stock out of cages.

I used to get that at McDonalds.

People complaining to me about the prices going up when I was outside in the carpark picking up rubbish. Aim a little higher up the chain.

[Joel]

customer: "gimme $200 cashout"
me: "sorry, ive only got $150 worth in $50 notes and I cant really give out any of my 20s or 10s:
customer: "WHAT WHY NOT WHY CANT I HAVE MONEY OUT"
me: "i dont have enough in my til, sorry"
customer: "THATS STUPID WHY DONT YOU PUT UP A SIGN SAYING YOU DONT HAVE ANY MONEY HJRJFBERILGE"

that happens a lot.

[JubeiSaotome]

customer: "gimme $200 cashout"
me: "sorry, ive only got $150 worth in $50 notes and I cant really give out any of my 20s or 10s:
customer: "WHAT WHY NOT WHY CANT I HAVE MONEY OUT"
me: "i dont have enough in my til, sorry"
customer: "THATS STUPID WHY DONT YOU PUT UP A SIGN SAYING YOU DONT HAVE ANY MONEY HJRJFBERILGE"

that happens a lot.

Must have been the cashier badge, they probably can't tell the difference between a banker and cashier.

[Tukenstein]

This one time I was approached by a customer asking how much a game was going to be after discounts were applied. The game was stickered as being half marked price and it was $100. He waited patiently for the price through my long, dumbfounded stare. =p

[Choabac]

^ I used to get that all the time.

Also, if a game has a price of $100 and has a half price sticker, I often am asked is it $100 before or after the 50% reduction.

Yeah sure, the game is $200 normally, but you can get it now for the bargain price of $100!

[Lazlow]

Old bitch going ape because I put six slices of tomato in her salad (the standard serve) when the store at the showgrounds puts more.

[Stevorooni]

Yeah sure, the game is $200 normally, but you can get it now for the bargain price of $100!

Well it is EB :p

[JubeiSaotome]

Old bitch going ape because I put six slices of tomato in her salad (the standard serve) when the store at the showgrounds puts more.

I remember seeing that happen, the subway employee was putting on the regular salad amount and this stupid self-made business woman is all like "IS THAT ALL YOU PUT ON IT?" and storms off.

Same type of woman walks up to the KFC queue that I was in and is like "IS THIS THE LINE?" and storms off, while I shout "OH NOES WAITING IN LINES, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE".

[Tukenstein]

^ I used to get that all the time.

Also, if a game has a price of $100 and has a half price sticker, I often am asked is it $100 before or after the 50% reduction.

Yeah sure, the game is $200 normally, but you can get it now for the bargain price of $100!

Oh boy, the amount of people I've made blush with stupidity by pointing this out.

EDIT!
With a smile, of course.

[IRS]

15 years old, working at Foodland. Old lady wanted money back because she fed her husband 2KG of ham and he felt sick afterwards.


I don't know who eats 2KG of ham in 1 night and doesn't feel sick afterwards, but she got the money back. Well played, old bat.


The most common I got was 'this item was in the wrong section, does that mean it is half price'... uh...

[JubeiSaotome]

Working at Bi-lo. A fat old lady comes in with a tub of half eaten ice cream, she wanted her money back because the colours at the bottom were mixed.

Working at Big W, a lady in a three wolf moon shirt is at the checkout for a price check. She picked up the one lamington tray that was in the wrong spot (Obviously, in a cheaper spot). So I go check where she got it from and she follows me from the register. Turns out the only tray left was a display tray that is bolted to a fixture, when I say this, she's all like "OH WELL GOOD ON THEM" as if it's stupid that it's done that way. She keeps saying "It's not my fault, I just wanted a (she looks at the ticket) Lamington tray" about thinking this one item on a stack of 20 other different items are the same. Finally, to top it off, back at the checkout she demands it for free. We tell her that that is only a supermarket guarantee.

People are dodgy as hell.

[Tukenstein]

Oh, I forgot to mention the guy who bought 3000 Microsoft Points, took them home where his son proceeded to cut the card into small pieces, brought the card back and demanded we 'just swap it for another one'.

The same customer came back wanting to have a game he'd had for months swapped for another one because he was having troubles with his 360 and Microsoft refused to do anything until he could make sure it wasn't the disc's fault. The disc was scratched to absolute hell. I felt like headbutting this guy.

[/backslash]

People who ask me if they can get $500-1000 cash out and I mention that the limit is $400. What's worse is when I don't have enough money to give out $400 without them taking all of my 50s, 20s, 10s & 5s and the customer gets really shitty with me because she doesn't want to do 2 transactions. Just go to a friggin' bank!

[texta]

Working at Target I had a woman buy something for $49.99 with a $50 gift card and then angrily demand change. I gave her 5c.

[SOX]

My mate at JB told me about some asian guys who came in and asked if they could have a discount on Guitar Hero Rock the 80's because the songs were old. lol

[Mike-Towns]

GameTraders, around 2007:

Woman: Hi, i'd like to trade in a game.
Me: Sure thing.
Woman: *puts Platinum edition of the original Spyro on the counter* How much will I get for it?
Me: Let me check...$7 cash, $15 to spend in-store.
Woman:...but I bought this for $50...why won't I get $50
Me: Sorry but it's second hand, and since it's so old we can only sell it for around $25.
Woman: *RAAGGEEEE, STORMS OUT* ILL NEVER SHOP HERE AGAIN!!!


What a whore.

[Dorkify]

Working at a petrol station...

We have an emergency stop button near the door you walk in to come inside. About 3 times a week (while I'm there), someone will lift up the cover and press the button because they "thought it opened the door"...

People coming back with opened packs of cigs, claiming that a friend was here earlier and bought the wrong pack and expecting us to just swap it over.

Customers that come inside and start yelling because the pumps aren't working after they hold the handle for 0.001 of a second and expect the fuel to come out.

Telling us our pumps are broken when they try to put fuel in an already full tank and nothing comes out.

It never ends...

[Spudzilla]

Working at Foxtel, this was my first call on a random day:

Me: Welcome to Foxtel, this is Michael, how can I help you?
Guy: I just had my Foxtel installed and the tech won't leave!
Me: Um, what do you mean?
Guy: I mean that he won't leave! He's just sitting in his van and he's been there for half an hour just eating food and reading a paper!
Me: What, like in the driveway?
Guy: No, he's out the front of the house!
Me: On the street?
Guy: Yes! Tell him to leave!
Me: He's actually not doing anything wrong. (The guy is calling from Victoria and it's noon) He's probably just eating his lunch while on his break.
Guy: I'm gonna call the police and tell him to leave!
Me: That won't do anything because it's a public street.
Guy: Get me your... SUPERVISOR!

I've had so many encounters like this, mostly dumbass bogans not understanding how they get charged each month and how dare we charge them for when they break the boxes, which they don't own and are Foxtel property.

[fearofthesky]

Working at Target on checkouts, I had a ladt tell me this rubbish bin I had just scanned had scanned at the wrong price, so I called a floor staff member and got them to check. Turns out the woman had looked at the price tag above the bin, which was the wrong tag, as at target all prices are below the items. The top tag was for the bin above that tag. Floor staff girl explained this to her patiently, about 5 times, but she kept on saying she should get it at that price, getting angrier all the time.

I eventually called the store manager, who TOLD ME TO OVER-RIDE TO THE LOWER PRICE despite me and floor staff chick being absoulutly correct.

That was the day I decieded retail was not for me. Weak as piss mother****er, that store manager.

[IRS]

Oh yeah, if you complain enough you will always get your way.


My sister's ex fiance used to haggle the price at ****ing mcdonalds. AND GET HIS WAY.

[Spudzilla]

It's like people are getting rewarded for being pig headed and stupid.

[Stevorooni]

That was the day I decieded retail was not for me. Weak as piss mother****er, that store manager.

Probably did it just because it was the easiest way to get rid of the stupid lady

[fearofthesky]

^ I woulda called security on her ass. GTFO my store you unspeakablly stupid woman.

[big_b]

What was the difference in price?

[Gemerald]

I used to work at an electrical retailer where we sold printer consumables. A customer purchased ink and returned his old ink (completely empty) within 15 minutes of the original purchase claiming he was not happy with the quality. The staff knew he was trying to con the store by swapping his old ink for new and despite the receipt saying that consumables are not covered by a 14 day exchange our manager gave in.

The sad thing is, by giving in, it sets a precedent in the sense that he will continue to do this in the future.

[Stevorooni]

It's amazing what people will try and scam. It's just easier to buy stuff.

[Spudzilla]

Sure, if you're one of the sheeple.

[Araenel]

Oh yeah, if you complain enough you will always get your way.


My sister's ex fiance used to haggle the price at ****ing mcdonalds. AND GET HIS WAY.

Often at work I wont buckle to reduce a price just out of spite. When they insist on me talking to the manager I say sure and go out the back to have a drink.

[Space_Monkey]

Working at McDonalds I just get the usual nonsense about how the guy at the counter is obviously the guy in charge of McDonalds Australia and how every change in menu and price is his fault.

I had a women come in and go on a full on rant at me because McDonalds coffee was crap, which it is but you know it's awful and you came here anyway, dispite there being an array of good coffee shops about town.

As if that wasn't retarded enough she finished by stated how she thought that drip purculater garbage was better and we should get that coffee back.

And this was at around 7am, in my half asleep, dazed state I just stood there and took it. Bitch.

[Gemerald]

It's amazing what people will try and scam. It's just easier to buy stuff.

Yeah this is true, but with the price of printer ink, it's not entirely uncommon.

[IRS]

Often at work I wont buckle to reduce a price just out of spite. When they insist on me talking to the manager I say sure and go out the back to have a drink.

Where do you work?

Keep fighting the good fight.



I do think in some cases if you don't **** them in the ass they'll **** you though.

For example. I posted before my TV just stopped working... It's on warranty, so it should be fine. But after 1 week of going through their bullshit nothing has happened, I have a feeling I'm gonna be without a Tv for a LONG time, regardless of their obligations.

[Araenel]

Where do you work?

Keep fighting the good fight.



I do think in some cases if you don't **** them in the ass they'll **** you though.

For example. I posted before my TV just stopped working... It's on warranty, so it should be fine. But after 1 week of going through their bullshit nothing has happened, I have a feeling I'm gonna be without a Tv for a LONG time, regardless of their obligations.

Dick Smith. I do try to help people get better deals a lot though, I know how much the markup is on a lot of things. Although most of the time I don't care and it's their fault for not bothering to look around for better prices, like a goddamn computer shop for ethernet cables instead of buying our ones with 80% markups.

Nothing drives me crazier than someone coming in and trying to get a single item, usually on sale too, then asking for a discount.

[fearofthesky]

What was the difference in price?

About 25 bucks. It was a big stainless steel bin, the one above it was much smaller and therefore a lot cheaper.

One more troll story, this one is second-hand. My sister works at at a servo, and watched a customer rip the out of order sign of the tyre pump (held in place with a LOT of black tape), attempt to use it, then come in and give her a ful gob of abuse because it let his tyres down, because it opened the valve, but nothing went in so all the air came out! What a ****-knuckle. If I had been in my sisters place I woulda lost it and smacked him down, I'm sure. But then, I've never been in a fight since high school, so I probably woulda copped the smackdown. Then got fired.

[Spudzilla]

Often at work I wont buckle to reduce a price just out of spite. When they insist on me talking to the manager I say sure and go out the back to have a drink.

I would do the same except put them on hold. After about 5 minutes of listening to the most grating ads, I would flick them back on and say "There isn't anyone available at the moment, but I can ask them to call you back" which would usually be met with them swearing at me and hanging up, which would mean they would have to call up again and wait another 20 minutes to talk to someone.

[Gemerald]

Where do you work?

Keep fighting the good fight.



I do think in some cases if you don't **** them in the ass they'll **** you though.

For example. I posted before my TV just stopped working... It's on warranty, so it should be fine. But after 1 week of going through their bullshit nothing has happened, I have a feeling I'm gonna be without a Tv for a LONG time, regardless of their obligations.

Having handled many RAs at a retailer if you're dealing with the manufacturer be persistent but not rude. Explain your situation and your dis-satisfaction. If worse comes to worse, try writing a letter to the right people, apparently this works wonders.

Best of luck.

[IRS]

Dick Smith. I do try to help people get better deals a lot though, I know how much the markup is on a lot of things. Although most of the time I don't care and it's their fault for not bothering to look around for better prices, like a goddamn computer shop for ethernet cables instead of buying our ones with 80% markups.

Nothing drives me crazier than someone coming in and trying to get a single item, usually on sale too, then asking for a discount.

Hahahah I actually made that mistake once.

I got a 2m ethernet cable from Dick Smiths. A few months later I needed a bigger one and ended up finding a 10m one for the same price as Dick Smiths 2m one.

[JubeiSaotome]

There's 2 sides to the giving the customer their own way thing.

a) Keeping them coming back, god forbid
b) Getting them the **** out of the store. Hopefully the experience will make them never come back.

[Stevorooni]

http://notalwaysright.com/

For all your idiot customer needs

[JubeiSaotome]

Awesome.

[/backslash]

http://notalwaysright.com/

For all your idiot customer needs

Customer: *on the phone and angry* “HOW DARE YOU RUN AN EMERGENCY ALERT DURING THE RED SOX GAME?! BASES LOADED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. We have no control over the emergency alerts.”

Customer: “CAN’T THEY DO IT AT NIGHT?! I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME! BASES ARE LOADED!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, unfortunately the emergency alert will broadcast during an emergency situation; we have no control over when that will happen.

Customer: “WELL YOU BETTER GET SOME CONTROL OVER IT!” *click*
Lolz.

[JubeiSaotome]

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like $10 on pump five.”

Me: “Alright, ma’am. Have a nice day!”

(The customer then gets out and starts walking to her car which is indeed on pump five… and then just drives off without pumping gas. I hold her $10 in case she comes back, and sure enough, she returns about an hour later.)

Customer: *furious* “I can’t pump my gas, you little s***! You stole my money!”

Me: “Ma’am, you left the money on your pump about an hour ago.”

Customer: “I know! You were supposed to hold it for me. What kind of service is this that you won’t do that?”

Me: “Ma’am, I have your money right here and can put it on the pump if you want.”

Customer: “You d***ed better put that money on my pump…all $50 of it!”

Me: “Ma’am, you only gave me $10 for the pump.”

Customer: “I so did not! I gave you $50. I have my receipt right here!”

(The customer hands me a receipt that indeed says $50 dollars–but it’s dated from five months ago.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have your receipt from today and it says $10. The receipt you handed me has a date from five months ago.”

Customer: “You mean those receipts have dates on them?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh…” *runs out, leaving her $10 and never returning again*
I bet half the customers on checkout I have to deal with are like this.

Also, customers are really shit at directions. eg;

*I overhear another staff member point out which aisle something is in, with clear directions*

*5 minutes later, across the other side of the store*

Customer: I've asked 5 people where *product* is and everyone tells me something different.

*Walk them all the way across the store to where they just were*

If you say a customer is in a certain direction and X amount of aisle up, they will continue walking until they reach a wall and expect it to be on the wall. Seriously. Also, you will be halfway through giving directions to something and the customer will walk off without hearing it all.

[dimorphic]

I was talking to Jubei today about this on Twitter. I had a customer come in with a Wii and some games that he had bought and demanding a $550 cash refund (his all up purchase price) because he was 'over' the motion control.

When I said to him we can't return a console because you don't like it anymore he angrily reminded me that its our policy (I work at EB). To which I reply yes, and if you had bought this seven days ago I could help you, but mid 2008 is a little too late.

He then demanded to speak to my manager, so I got him and he just said the same thing. Then he demanded to speak to the area manager, so right there and then I call him and he says the same thing to this guy over the phone. So he storms out.

25 minutes later I get a call from the Tweed City EB (I work at Tweed Mall) from my area manager saying the douchebag came in and tried the same thing over there, speaking to the area manager in person this time but not realising who he was.

Stupidity is a curse.

[Allick]

One time I was with an acquantaince who is several years older than me and he decided to go to dominos and buy some pizzas even though he didn't have voucher so the pizzas would be rather expensive.
We got to the pizza shop and ordered I think three pizzas, and they were around $10 each or something. At this point my acquantaince raised his voice and said:
"I'M NOT PAYING THAT FOR A PIZZA! HOW MUCH ARE THEY WITH VOUCHERS"
The guy at the register said $6 and then my acquantaince said
"Ok we'll get that" and thats what we were charged.
The whole time i wasnstanding in the back of the shop with my brother being extremely embarrased, but laughing at the same time.
The worst part is is that the guy at the register was someone who is in my year at school, and is in my TAG/form and some of my classes.

[fearofthesky]

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes. What are these?”

Me: “That is a fortune cookie, ma’am.”

Customer: “It doesn’t look like a cookie. Where are the chocolate chips?”

Me: “Ma’am, these are a different kind of cookie. You open them up and they tell your fortune on a piece of paper.”

Customer: “What kind of cookies have paper in them!?”

Me: “Fortune cookies, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! Cookies are meant to be eaten, and paper isn’t EATABLE!”

Me: “Please, ma’am, the paper is–”

Customer: “Shut up! I’m leaving.”

(The customer begins to storm out but in her anger misses the door and walks right into the wall. When she finally stumbles out, I open up the fortune cookie and read its message: “Do not worry. You will get what is coming to you in life.”)


From the above site. I hurt myself LOLing! Ow.

[Filthy Old Drunk]

Not so much retail, but two from last night:

Some old lady whinged last night because her Curry was served in a bowl. "You NEVER serve curry in a bowl!! As soon as I saw her [glares at waitress] with a bowl, I lost my appetite".

Another girl, fat as, ordered an Italian salad as a main "because I don't eat food" (as said to the waitress, much to her puzzlement) then bitched and moaned because we had no chocolate desserts on.

[texta]

I'm working by myself on sunday and I get a phone call

ME: Hello Battery World, How can I help?

PERSON ON THE OTHER END: Uhh do you sell batteries?

We're also situated next to a hardware store, so a while back a woman comes in and I ask her if I can help with anything and she says "I need to replace a leg on my bed".

Also, this one time this guy comes in with his golf cart batteries (and connecting box stuff). They're normally connected in series up to the motor in his cart, and we get him to show us how. So he connects the negative of one battery to the positive of the other battery and then he has the two wires that would normally connect to the motor in his hand... so he connects them together creating a short circut that makes the whole thing catch fire.

[Halt, Hammerzeit]

I worked at a truck stop for a while. One day I was out near the diesel pumps and a guy got out of his truck and dropped his still lit half smoked cigarette right next to the diesel pump. So I stood on it and told him not to smoke near the pumps, which he didn't like. I finished filling the paper towels and window cleaner crap, went back inside and started serving. Then the truckie came in, obviously fuming that I'd stomped on his cigarette and had just let his anger build through the filling of his four 200L tanks and yelled at me "Are you also so rude to your customers?" to which I replied "When they're smoking next to the pumps, yeah". The guy that was in line behind him almost smacked him over the back of the head. I know diesel isn't a particularly volitile fuel, but smoking anywhere near a petrol station is just bad news.

Had another woman try to shoplift a couple of beanies off the hat rack in the same petrol station. I chased her out the door and said "I'll have that beanie back thanks", so she handed me one thinking she'd get away with it. "I'll have the other one too, thanks". Stupid people.

Edit:
Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hey Jon, check this out! The machine says hello back when I say hello!”

Me: “I’m not a machine, sir.”

Customer: “OH MY GOD, IT’S ADDRESSING ME!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not a machine!”

Customer: “Oh… so you’re one of them human peoples?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am a human peoples.”

I so want to be part of the conversation, preferably on the end that's not retarded.

[Silverwolf]

I love the places customers leave things they decide they don't want in supermarkets, I once found one of the potted plants we sell in the freezer. The poor plant didn't make it =(

[Serenity]

I work in a visitor information centre/observatory so I get all kinds of stupid questions. Mainly about people bitching about the lack of different service stations. Why does it matter? It's all the same. Stop being tight for the sake of a few dollars and screw your stupid card deals. ITS THE BLOODY OUTBACK. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, all the home comforts?

Also another common one we get is "Can you see the stars in the daytime?" Ugh. STUPID.

A few times we've had those really preachy Christians come through and bitch about how we lie by talking about the Big Bang and all that. They ask me what I believe, I tell them I'm an atheist. Then they're all like, you're going to hell! I reply calmly with "I don't believe in hell" and get the Manager.

[Lex]

wow, so glad I don't work retail any more. can't say I ever had any experiences worth writing out, just the usual arguing over the prices of tomatoes. god people are shit :(

[Blake]

When I did a christmas selling landscape photos in Charlestown mall we had an Asian couple that kept turning up and trying to haggle on the price.

We would always explain that our prices were set and this wasn't Haggle Town but they would always come back.

[Thraxas]

When I was working in Sainsbury's in England. A customer brought in 4 empty cans of lager. He said he hadn't drunk them, and he didn't have a receipt.

I hadn't even finished saying he couldn't have a refund when he got really shitty, shouting at me asking for the manager. Someone went and got the manager, who then listened to the man's story and asked why I was giving trouble about a refund. I then explained to both the manger and the man that we didn't stock that particular brand of lager and that I wasn't aware we refunded items we didn't stock.

He then told me to "**** off , I won't shop here anymore and threw the cans at me".

My favourite experience was when someone tried to steal 2 bottles of Moet Champagne he put a bottle in each pocket and started to run out of the shop. I started chasing him and when he saw us run past the store security guard started to run after him too. He was running through the car park when a guy in a white van saw us chasing this guy and just drove into him. The manager gave the white van guy a bottle of champagne as thanks.

[JimJim]

One time in the Maccas drive-thru, a car came to the window trying to order a 'twister', they were rather baffled when I explained to them that we did not sell those... I then proceeded to give them directions to the nearest KFC and they were on their way :p

[Stevorooni]

Tech support calls are awesome

User: "I'm trying to enter in a date but it's not accepting it"

Me: "What date are you entering in"

User: "31st June"

Me: "Well there's your problem, the system only accepts valid dates"

User: "..."

Me: "There's only 30 days in June"

User: "... well... it should be able to detect that and fix it!"

* SUPER MEGA TURBO FACEPALM *

[Halt, Hammerzeit]

A few times we've had those really preachy Christians come through and bitch about how we lie by talking about the Big Bang and all that. They ask me what I believe, I tell them I'm an atheist. Then they're all like, you're going to hell! I reply calmly with "I don't believe in hell" and get the Manager.

Another story from the truckstop I worked at. I had a guy walk in, pay for his petrol then turned to me and said "Do you know Jesus died for your sins?" To which I replied "What did the stupid bugger do that for?" He wasn't too pleased.

[TAT]

I have more rage stories than I can count from my days at Safeway, but the funniest was the time I was on my lunch break having a look through Kmart and I was approached by a customer asking if I knew where [product] was. This is despite the fact that I was wearing a white business shirt and black pants (Kmart uniform is a black striped polo, afaik). I gave her directions to the opposite end of the store and walked out.

I don't get too many idiots in hospitality, but one guy a few weeks back came into the lobby around midnight and wanted to know if he could have a drink (the bar had closed @ 11pm). After I politely explained to him that not only was the bar closed but that I didn't have an RSA and couldn't serve him anyway he actually walked behind the bar, grabbed a glass and looked for the taps to pour himself one.

Like I was going to let him get away with that shit.

[Blake]

Didja **** that guy up TAT?

[twofivefour]

When I did a christmas selling landscape photos in Charlestown mall we had an Asian couple that kept turning up and trying to haggle on the price.

We would always explain that our prices were set and this wasn't Haggle Town but they would always come back.

I have watched my boss cut a $300 Wethertex A-frame in half in front of a Chinese customer because they wouldn't stop trying to haggle - after accepting the quoted price in the first place.

[Pauly]

working as a filler at your local supermarket is always fun too. we use a shopping trolley to put all our cardboard in while we're working in the aisles, then go empty once it's full. i had a customer take every box out of a full shopping trolley and throw them on the ground, in the middle of the aisle, so he could use the trolley without going back to the front of the store.

me: hey, what do you think you're doing?

him: using this trolley, is it a problem?

me: actually it is, idiot.

then he walked off and i cleaned it up.

[Halt, Hammerzeit]

Still reading through the retail trolling experiences on that site. This has got to be my favourite so far :P

(My dad was standing in an express line at the grocery store. In front of him was a well-to-do-looking woman, who clearly had several more items than the limit.)

Dad: “You know, it’s amazing that someone who is apparently so successful can’t read.”

Woman: *in a huff* “That sign’s for regular people, not for me!”

(An old man behind my dad taps him on the shoulder.)

Old man: “Here, give her this.”

(My dad hands it to the woman.)

Woman: “What’s this?”

Old man: “Metamucil. It’ll make you regular.”

Edit: Correction, this is my favourite.

Me: “Dispatch, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I have an alarm going off.”

Me: “Okay, do you happen to have an account number?”

Caller: “No, I moved into this house five years ago and inherited the alarm system.”

Me: “Alright, address?”

Caller: *gives address*

Me: “Sir, I didn’t receive any notifications. Can you hold for a few minutes while I confirm with our other station?”

Caller: “I guess…”

(I call our other station, they tell me they have no record of the alarm.)

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “Yes, yes, what?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Is the alarm still going off?”

Caller: “Yes, can’t you hear? Listen, I am a very important lawyer and I demand you turn this alarm off!”

Me: “Sir, our alarms reset in ten–”

Caller: “No, you listen to me, you little s***! I’d better not miss my meetings because you can’t turn off this alarm!”

(I hear the alarm getting louder and I’m pretty sure he can’t hear me, so…)

Me: “SON OF JOR-EL! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!”

(The alarm in the background shuts off.)

Caller: “Oh wow! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Me: “No problem, sir!”

[VanAce]

I work at Safeway Liquor we get all kinds of stupid people in.

One guy bitched to me that we were not as cheap as Dan Murphys. Often people come in and will ask the price of something, usually VB slabs, and once i have told them the price they go "Coles is cheaper". I feel like screaming at them go to ****ing Coles then. A few times we have had people come in asking "do you sell wine?". I often get customers come straight up the desk asking for a certain slab of beer expecting me to get it from the coolroom all because they are either too lazy or they think you are not allowed in there.

When we bring new stock into the liquor department we either bring it in rollcages or wheel the pallet out and there is always one moron who thinks he is hillarious and says "My car is parked in the carpark, just chuck it all in the boot" They think I have never heard that before yet I hear it all the time.

Last one, not so much stupidity but an interesting story in retail. On my 4th shift (sunday night around 6.30ish) the department got held up and I missed it all as I was pulling down tickets towards the back of the store. Some guy came in pretending to have a knife in his pocket and demanded all the money. The guy I was working with gave him the money and they guy ran off. My Co-working chased him down out of the store and beat the shit out of him and got the money back.

[castr8or]

great little story

This happened at a music store in sydney or so I'm told by people who would know of such things.

A customer came in looking for acoustic guitars and proceeded to start trying out the cheapest nastiest ones they had, he was there for hours trying them out, complaining about how they sucked and what not, finally after wasting everyones time he decided on cheap, nasty peice of wood and asked them to ring it up. The guy who owns the store says "sure thing", grabs the guitar, gives it a strum and proceeds to bash it against the floor, smashing it into pieces. He then looks at the customer and quite calmly tells him to "**** off out of my store"

[Almighty Beanchild]

Not retail but Student IT, I just took a 30ish minute phone call from a mature age student about how she did a virus scan of her computer and it detected that one of our websites had "Tracking Cookies" and she was outraged to discover the University was trying to track her and she was reporting us to consumer affairs and the AISI, and all sorts of shit.

It was pretty hard not to laugh at her and hang up.

[Lex]

Tech support calls are awesome

User: "I'm trying to enter in a date but it's not accepting it"

Me: "What date are you entering in"

User: "31st June"

Me: "Well there's your problem, the system only accepts valid dates"

User: "..."

Me: "There's only 30 days in June"

User: "... well... it should be able to detect that and fix it!"

* SUPER MEGA TURBO FACEPALM *

well it should.

[Almighty Beanchild]

Actually another good one I got today was an email from a student.

From: <student email address>
Subject: Help!
Body:
HELP!!!!!!

I sent them a message saying "Could you please provide the details of your problem" and got back:

From: <student email>
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: I CAN'T LOG INTO MY EMAIL

From: support@student.uwa.edu.au
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: Dear <Student>,
You appear to be sending me these emails from your student email, what email are you experiencing problems with?
Nathan Roper
Student Internet Support Office

From: <student email>
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: I can't log into my BIGPOND mail.

*facepalm* I ended up linking them to the bigpond contact us site, or whatever. I swear people think tech support people can just make computers dance with their brains and do whatever, so it doesn't matter if you call the right person as long as they're some kind of tech support guy.

[JubeiSaotome]

working as a filler at your local supermarket is always fun too. we use a shopping trolley to put all our cardboard in while we're working in the aisles, then go empty once it's full. i had a customer take every box out of a full shopping trolley and throw them on the ground, in the middle of the aisle, so he could use the trolley without going back to the front of the store.

me: hey, what do you think you're doing?

him: using this trolley, is it a problem?

me: actually it is, idiot.

then he walked off and i cleaned it up.
I hate people like that. I've had it where I have a trolley full of something very heavy like fixtures and they're like "Are you using that?"

Actually, today I had some bitch come in asking about some cheap vaccuum, being the last one was the display, she demanded it. Didn't have a trolley, she was like "I probably need a trolley don't I", so I replied "Yeah, you probably should go get one" and she goes and gets one. Probably should have got one while you were entering!

[JimJim]

One time (at Maccas again), no one was at the front counter (they were in the kitchen/out the back) as it was mid-afternoon and not very busy, meanwhile, some lady comes in, decides to walk behind the counter to the thing that holds the fries, scoops herself a bunch into some cup she had, and walks out of the store (this was all caught on the security cameras). As if this wasn't bad enough, a few minutes later she comes in, goes up to the counter and asks for sauce! The girls serving was unaware of what had happened and gave her the sauce free of charge!

Not quite relevant, but I feel the need to mention this:
- One time (at maccas again), some obese lady wearing a moo-moo and using a walking frame was spotted in the carpark, she meandered her way onto one of the drain grates in the carpark and proceeded to urinate standing then and there!

[Tukenstein]

Actually another good one I got today was an email from a student.

From: <student email address>
Subject: Help!
Body:
HELP!!!!!!

I sent them a message saying "Could you please provide the details of your problem" and got back:

From: <student email>
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: I CAN'T LOG INTO MY EMAIL

From: support@student.uwa.edu.au
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: Dear <Student>,
You appear to be sending me these emails from your student email, what email are you experiencing problems with?
Nathan Roper
Student Internet Support Office

From: <student email>
Subject: Re: Help!
Body: I can't log into my BIGPOND mail.

*facepalm* I ended up linking them to the bigpond contact us site, or whatever. I swear people think tech support people can just make computers dance with their brains and do whatever, so it doesn't matter if you call the right person as long as they're some kind of tech support guy.

This reminds me, when I was working for Telstra's wireless broadband helpdesk I ended up getting a call from a woman asking for help with her speakers. She couldn't seem to wrap her head around the idea that I was only there to help with her internet. At the very least she helped me waste some time at work. =p

[Blake]

well it should.

Should what? It already detected it was an invalid date. How would it auto correct any more than that? If they're entering an invalid number it can't (and shouldn't) guess what number you meant to input.

[Stevorooni]

Should what? It already detected it was an invalid date. How would it auto correct any more than that? If they're entering an invalid number it can't (and shouldn't) guess what number you meant to input.

It could either choose June 30th, July 1st or travel back in time to when the calendar was invented and add an extra day to June!

I suggested to my boss that a giant hand coming out of the screen and slapping the user for being a moron was a suitable fix.

[Jickle]

For a while I was working at a Vodafone booth in Myer at Marion. First the booth was inexplicably placed in men's clothing, then moved to the computer/games section. Without exaggeration, maybe one in fifteen people who asked me for service actually asked about phones. The highlight of that month (the stall didn't last long) was a grandmother asking me what Wii game to buy her grandkids for Christmas and me explaining to her that Super Mario Galaxy was far and away the best game on the system, and that I didn't actually work in the game section or for Myer so I had no agenda to push beyond a knowledge of games and my desire for her grandkids to have a happy Christmas.

[Clift]

Not exactly retail, but whatever...

Guy walks into the workshop office / reception area,

Him: Hey, are you guys mechanics?

My boss: Nah mate, we're detailers!

He just kind of stood there looking puzzled for a bit before my boss asked him what he wanted... :P

On another occasion we had a guy sitting out the front with water pissing out of his car,

Him: Do you guys have a pair of long nose pliers I can use? My cars leaking water, just wanna check the fuses...

Us: Mate, it's uuuh, not the fuses, it's your cooling system...

Him: *Vacant look* ... Oh... I just wanna check anyway...

[Blake]

it could either choose june 30th, july 1st or travel back in time to when the calendar was invented and add an extra day to june!

Last time I try to defend you, jerk!

[Stevorooni]

last time i try to defend you, jerk!

IT WAS NOT A REAL SOLUTION mioi

[TAT]

Found a pretty awesome one:


(An old man walks into the lobby.)
Me: “Hi, how are you doing?”
Customer: “Everyone I can.”
Me: “…”
(The customer pulls out a cigar, lights it, then ashes it on the counter.)
Me: “You can’t smoke a cigar in here.”
Customer: “That’s what she said.”
Me: “…”

[VanAce]

Had some old obese lady lady struggle to walk through the door. She was weezing like she had been smoking all her life and I honestly thought she was going to die just walking a few metres through the store. She goes straight to the desk and asks for cigarettes.

[Space_Monkey]

This one sadly involves me.

Shopping around for a new television for my Mum it'd been a long day explaining why "no you don't need a DVD player built in to your HD-TV when we have a playstation 3 and DVD player at home" and "why telephoney is not a good brand." I was in a pretty crappy mood to say the least.

I came across two Harvey Norman staff, chatting away, even when I approached, they didn't stop talking, eventually I said "excuse me" one said "one minute thanks mate" and then they proceeded to turn their backs on me and keep chatting.

I waited for a few minutes then fed up with waiting and in my head raging about "how dare they ignore me the customer!?" whilst the two staff members talked away happily, I rudely interupted "excuse me I need help!"

It was about this point I noticed a few slight differences with the other staff members uniform, despite being 99% the same it had a few subtle differences.

The staff member told the customer with a slight groan that he'd be right back and he went with me to explain to my Mum how you "couldn't get a HD-TV with a big back."

Gee did I feel like a jerk.

[TAT]

I don't get it

[Stevorooni]

It wasn't 2 staff members having a chat, it was 1 staff member helping a customer who was wearing clothes that made him look like he worked there.

[Blake]

I don't get it

That's what she said!