Three bullets, three annoying celebrities: you have the power

[AranchineD]

As per thread title.

You've got three bullets in your custom made three shot revolver (to this day the reasons for you wanting such a gun are a mystery to all).

Which three annoying celebrities do you want in front of your gun, to make the world a better place, for everyone or your own selfish reason, who cares, just say it!

First up for me: Rob Schneider

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/2171/robschneider1300.jpg

For being, well, Rob Schneider. He does indeed deserve to be shot for every movie where he is the main character.


Second: Orlando Bloom

http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/5255/orlandobloom400a050107.jpg

Yes, because he does look like a ponce, but he also took our dear Miranda away, the monster. ;_;

Finally: Michael Cera

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/7844/michaelceran.jpg

Now the important thing here to note is that I don't want to shoot to kill. I just want to ensure he gets the message to MAKE THE ****ING ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE YOU PRICK

[Jickle]

Well, first off, Michael Bay must die. For the greater good.

Next, I would travel to the estate of one Stephen Hawking, and force him, at gunpoint, to create a time machine. I would travel back to, say, 1998 or so - well before Zach Braff could have conceived any part of Garden State - and kill him.

At this point I fear I would be overcome by the my own actions and kill myself with the final bullet. The ghost of Rod Serling would write my obituary.

[Fenrir]

Are politicians allowed? What about musicians?

Either way, first bullet, Tracy Grimshaw - maybe second, too, just to make sure she's dead. Can't stand the combination of shameless spin, lowest-common-denominator appeal and moral condescension.

[Mike-Towns]

...instead of three celebreties, i'd use the three bullets on one.

http://www.sugarslam.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/robert-pattinson.jpg

Two in his stupid eyes, then one between them.

[Big Kev]

First choice is easy. In fact I don't really need the other two bullets but I'll use them anyway.

Neil Mitchell.

http://images.3aw.com.au/2008/08/28/193002/2Neil-Mitchell424-424x283.jpg

Michael Moore

http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/moore.jpg

John Malkovich

http://www.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/john-malkovich-pic.jpg

[HiredMan]

Kiera Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Gwynneth Paltrow.

/end msogyny

[Zan]

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/olsen-twins/pictures/olsen-twins-picture-1.jpg

http://theskorpionshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/tyra.jpg

[Halt, Hammerzeit]

Perez Hilton. You got beat up by black guys. You deserve it you gutless wonder.

Tom Cruise. Let Katie Holmes go!

And if we can choose politicans, I'm gonna go with that white US senator that called Obama racist.

[IRS]

Well, first off, Michael Bay must die. For the greater good.


I'd dive in front of the bullet.

For the greater good.

[texta]

1. Any Federal Liberal MP who is thinking about challenging Turnbull.
This is a strategic move because I figure no one can be as useless as Turnbull.

2. Julie from Masterchef.
Julie
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/nonciclopedia/images/thumb/3/37/Homer_Angry.gif/180px-Homer_Angry.gif

3. Kevin Rudd, so Julia Gillard can be PM.

[Jay]

Ah how quickly we forget Brendan Nelson.

As for me, a few years ago it would have been Naomi Robson at the top of the list, but she's pretty much gone now anyway so...

1) Andrew Bolt

2) Allan Jones

3) Ray Warren

That's the best I can come up with.

Although having seen enrique's post below I'd add Kyle Sandilands.

[enrique]

1. Kyle Sandilands sod off you fat wanker!

2. Germaine Greer B*tch, just what until you die and then we'll pay you out and how you deserved to die, unlike Steve Irwin and Brocky who actually made a positive difference to this world. Karma's a b*tch aint it?

3. Paris Hilton Rich, blonde, airhead, what are you rare or something? Nobody cares!!

Aran can I have a custom made six shot revolver so I can put two rounds apiece into the first two people on my list so they dont unexpectedly come back to life? Think of it as a community service...

[igotnewsuper8systemWRONG!]

Second: Orlando Bloom

http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/5255/orlandobloom400a050107.jpg

Yes, because he does look like a ponce, but he also took our dear Miranda away, the monster. ;_;


Look I don't want to rag on your choices, but have you seen the episode of Extras with Orlando Bloom? I find it hard to dislike after his amazing mockery of himself.

I'd shoot....

That Attorney general who won't give us an R rating (should be easy considering how much videogames have desensitized me to guns and murder in general), does he count as celebrity?

Then I'd fire 2 shots at the ground in front of Megan Fox while shouting dance.

[Surgeon.]

I'd dive in front of the bullet.

For the greater good.

Surgeon fires another bullet at Michael Bay from the grassy knoll.

Might as well knock off Shia LaBeouf while I'm at it.

For the much greater good.

[FrozenSoul80]

George Lucas - Stop raping Star Wars and Indiana Jones, you ****!

Steven Spielberg - For similar reasons.

Zac Efron - For being an ugly mother****er.

[grimace06]

Mike Patton

Billy Corgan

Thom Yorke

[Jay]

George Lucas - Stop raping Star Wars and Indiana Jones, you ****!

Steven Spielberg - For similar reasons.

Zac Efron - For being an ugly mother****er.

Wish I was as ugly as Zac Efron... :(

[FrozenSoul80]

Wish I was as ugly as Zac Efron... :(

You really want a face that needs to be punched? :p

[AranchineD]

Look I don't want to rag on your choices, but have you seen the episode of Extras with Orlando Bloom? I find it hard to dislike after his amazing mockery of himself.

Those are all good points, but none of them result in him NOT TAKING MIRANDA KERR AWAY FROM US!

[Newton]

Zac Efron - For being an ugly mother****er.He's gorgeous. Don't be ridiculous.

Heidi and Spencer
Perez Hilton
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Perez Hilton
Ellen Pompeo (I ****ing hate Meredith)
Pink
It's Britney bitch
Perez Hilton
50 Cent (that's ten times! Your career is over. Go make another Apprentice style sell out)


I figure I'd put some of them in a line.

[Afrogamer]

Mike Patton

Billy Corgan

Thom Yorke

Id use 2 of my bullets to deflect your shots at mike patton and thom yorke, but id shoot out billy corgans knee cap so he struggles whilst been picked at by vultures.:D

[IRS]

Surgeon fires another bullet at Michael Bay from the grassy knoll.


I'd dive in front of that bullet also.

[AranchineD]

While IRS is blocking the first bullet his dick is stopping the second

[FrozenSoul80]

I take back my bullets and use them all on Travis from Big Brother (remember the guy with the squeaky voice?). Turns out the bastard has decided to live here, in Broken Hill. :(

[Fenrir]

Since my queries weren't addressed,

as before:
http://www.livenews.com.au/static/view/F_0_TraceyGrimshaw.jpg

Ellen Pompeo (I ****ing hate Meredith)
Seconded.
http://toppayingideas.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ellen-pompeo-pregnant.jpg

And finally,
http://g8.undercoverhd.com/imgsresized/article/071002GuySebastian060507_1.jpg

[Bronze]

http://www.1047kcld.com/upload/image/nickelback-2005-pic-3_jpg_w560h559.jpg

I'd line them up close together to conserve ammunition. Four shit musicians with one bullet. You could call them NUMBER ONE on my list WITH A BULLET HAHAHAHAHA. Shut up.

http://sexybokep.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/RobThomas.jpg

The only person who comes close to matching the shitty music of Nickelback. And as an added bonus, this bullet would be preventing not only Rob Thomas from inflicting his shit music upon the world, but would also ensure the end of Matchbox 20!

http://www.mamapop.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/12/26/jake_gyllenhaal_may_2007.jpg

Because IF I CAN'T HAVE HIM THEN NOBODY CAN. >_>

[Thraxas]

Andrew o'Keefe -> "Please don't kill me! I'll give you $200,000" *sob*, Me -> No Deal mother****er

Andy Lee. Seriously Megan Gale wtf do you see in this fugly tool?

I was going to say Michael Bay for number 3 but I guess I'll just shoot IRS instead, save him the trouble of diving when he already has 2 bullets in him :p

[StorminNorman]

All three: Sarah Palin.

[IRS]

I was going to say Michael Bay for number 3 but I guess I'll just shoot IRS instead, save him the trouble of diving when he already has 2 bullets in him :p

Jokes on you, I'd dive out of the way of that one.

[Fenrir]

^I'll assume said dodged bullet could only hit Michael Bay.

[AranchineD]

http://www.1047kcld.com/upload/image/nickelback-2005-pic-3_jpg_w560h559.jpg

I'd line them up close together to conserve ammunition. Four shit musicians with one bullet. You could call them NUMBER ONE on my list WITH A BULLET HAHAHAHAHA. Shut up.

But...why do you want to shoot me Bronze, I never did anything to you. :(

[Sytadel]

Three is an awfully low number. I'll assume celebrities already picked are dead, and kill new ones.

http://purplewisdom.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/david-spade-alpaca.jpg

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1106/1040969500_f69c198226.jpg

http://images.chron.com/blogs/beltwayconfidential/oreillyno.jpg

[Ad-Rock]

Karl Stefanovic. Xenophobic redneck ****.

Meryl Streep.

Rove. I'll never forgive him for what he did to cheez tv.

[texta]

Ah how quickly we forget Brendan Nelson.I actually think Nelson was probably a better leader than Turnbull and more likely to win an election. The Liberal party are disinitgrating under Turnbull. It is beautiful to watch.

[Gutsman Heavy]

Rove. I'll never forgive him for what he did to cheez tv.

eh? what he done?

[Lazlow]

All I know is, the presenters of CheezTV grew up and started including subtle adult humour into their "skits" coupled with one of the presenters slipping in anti-Rove jokes.

[Cicada]

I thought this list would be impossible to narrow down to three, but assuming that scores of three shot revolvers have already been distributed, aimed and fired, I'll say Miranda Devine, the author of those execrable twilight books and Fred Durst. The latter more for personal satisfaction than world betterment.

[Fenrir]

That's not to say the world wouldn't benefit.

[Pauly]

http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Keanu-Reeves.jpg
keanu. no talent.

http://myapologies.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/david-letterman-032709l.jpg
letterman. terrible interviewer. not funny.

http://images.triplem.com.au/2009/07/21/228169/andrew-voss-NRL-hall-of-shame.jpg
nrl commentator andrew voss. probably my most hated aussie of all time.


Thom Yorke
would dive in front etc.

[Xanafalgue]

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5523825,00.jpg

I can't stand this conservative, smug prick.


http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/09/20/kyle_sandilands_narrowweb__300x329,0.jpg

Vile.


http://static.open.salon.com/files/ann-coulter-1019071229469323.jpg

Filth.

[sausage]

haha I'd use all three on IRS for lulz.

[Vicious]

Bill O'Reilly
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity

While there's some celebrities I really hate that have absolutely no talent . . . killing these may actually be for the greater good.

For those suggesting putting multiple holes in a singular person to finish the job . . . go look-up the S&W Model 500. They shot a watermelon with it on TV . . . there was no longer a watermelon. Barely grazing a shoulder with it could be life threatening O_o.

[Jickle]

Bill O'Reilly.

Oh shit, good choice. Although I think the guy has great comedy value. "We're gonna DO IT LIVE!"

[Slippery]

Georgie Parker

[FX-GTZ]

- Ronald McDonald plastic statue or someone who looks very similar to him in costume
- Cosplay FF7 goth-Cloud fans, technically celeb treatment i suppose....
- Kyle Sanderlands, he is just a ****ing idiot.. Not just because of what he said on the radio, but because he has harsh opinion's on Idol contestants, and he ruined the already damaged Big Brother.

[Super Sleuth]

http://typeballa.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/dane-cook1.jpg

Rob Schneider and Kevin James will be fed to the pigs.

[TAT]

First choice is easy. In fact I don't really need the other two bullets but I'll use them anyway.

Neil Mitchell.

http://images.3aw.com.au/2008/08/28/193002/2Neil-Mitchell424-424x283.jpg

Michael Moore

http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/moore.jpg

John Malkovich

http://www.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/john-malkovich-pic.jpg
I totally understand the first two, but why Malkovich?

Kiera Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Gwynneth Paltrow.

/end msogyny
Tempted to just shoot you three times you ****ing monster

- Cosplay FF7 goth-Cloud fans, technically celeb treatment i suppose....
Yep, so how many of your 3 bullets are dedicated to these "fans"?

My top 3 in no particular order:

- Vanessa Amorosi (to settle a long-owed debt)
- Dave Grohl (for turning the Foo Fighters into - somewhat inconcievably, I might add - a more sleep-inducing band than Coldplay)
- The guy who dated Anne Hathaway, took nude photos of her, then somehow made sure they didn't end up on the internet

[dalmatian]

Uwe Boll.. Alone In The Dark, House Of The Dead need I say more?

http://24hourstomidnight.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/uwe-boll1.jpg

Michael Bolton. Don't believe me? Go listen to one of his records

http://www.iheartbrad.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/michael_bolton2.jpg

Big mouthed tosspot who is openly racist against white people, to the point of converting to islam to distance himself from all those racist whiteys. In reality he is as racist as your typical neo nazi or australia first groups. Hypocrite of the highest order

http://www.sydentcent.com.au/files/events/Mundine%20V%20Soliman%202007%20310.jpg

[Big Kev]

I totally understand the first two, but why Malkovich?


Because he's more overrated and wooden than eric bana.

Every facial expression is the same. Every vocal pitch is the same. Every accent is the same. And yet people rave on about what a fantastic actor he is. He's absolute HORSESHIT!

[sausage]

He has good timing and enunciation though.

[Serenity]

Bang.
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/zoboxrox/files/2009/10/lindsay-lohan.jpg
Bang.
http://televisedrevolution.com/tv/commentary/files/2009/11/rove.jpg
Bang.
http://www.herecomestheboss.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/chris-crocker.jpg

[adam_91vn]

Bang.
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/zoboxrox/files/2009/10/lindsay-lohan.jpg


Nice choice of word

[Serenity]

If you want to get hepatitis, sure!

[AranchineD]

Cool, this is now officially my most successful shit thread ever. :cool:

[Serenity]

You can thank Dalmatian for bumping it.

[Big Kev]

He has good timing and enunciation though.

That's about as effective as having good steering, but not knowing how to use the pedals or shift gears.

[Super Mario]

If you want to get hepatitis, sure!

I've been immunised.

http://uyac.com.au/forum/images/smilies/bizarro123.gif

[Mykle]

FTR, Karl Stefanovic is not conservative, his father was a big union man, true story.

Well he might be socially conservative, I dont know, but definitely a comrade.

[Serenity]

He'd have to be a comrade with a name like that...

[Dunkurtin]

If you want to get hepatitis, sure!

Don't they have condoms for that now?

[Lazlow]

Who cares, I'd chance it!

[Dunkurtin]

I'd probably at least put the third time lucky saying to the test.

[Serenity]

I'd make a joke about ranga-on-ranga action, but it's getting old.

[AranchineD]

Just like Lindsay Lohan OH YEAH ROUNDABOUT DISCUSSION RIGHT HERE

[Lazlow]

I'd make a joke about wanting to join the dots on her chest... but this is the wrong forum >_>

[AranchineD]

Nonsense Lazlow, this forum is perfectly fine for tha-

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/7977/lindsaye.jpg

OH GOD WHAT THE **** IS THAT KILL IT WITH FIRE

[Campdog]

http://www.nmsu.edu/~safety/images/fire_meaney.gif

This little guy should do the trick

[Citizen Erased]

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-2/billy-mays-2.jpg
.
.
.
oh wait, well that saves me one bullet


http://stewiesplayground.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/seth-macfarlane1.png

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/1Groening.jpg

nuff said

[sausage]

Ol no neck.

[Australian Ninja]

Matt Groening, WTF?

[Rambo]

http://cannemma.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/brittany_murphy.jpg

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/original/michael-jackson_1.jpg

http://www.poster.net/swayze-patrick/swayze-patrick-photo-patrick-swayze-6202346.jpg







Uhh, I don't think I understand how this game works.

[grimace06]

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-2/billy-mays-2.jpg
.
.
.
oh wait, well that saves me one bullet


http://stewiesplayground.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/seth-macfarlane1.png

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/1Groening.jpg

nuff said

Matt Groening? Really?

[Banjo Tooie]

Seth McFarlane is the definition of "shithead".

[REQUIEM]

Perez Hilton : 2 shots to the chest 1 to the head.

[Beinkasaurus Rex]

Seth McFarlane
Matt Groening
Taylor Swift

[banjoeskimo]

http://playhappy.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/glenn-beck.jpg

http://www.solarnavigator.net/media/media_images/rupert_murdoch_tokyo.jpg

http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/Tony-Abbott-Ray-Strange.jpg

Done.

[Lazlow]

Sean Penn
Steven Speilberg
Sherri Shepherd