Hyper 201 Feedback Thread

[Darren]

You see issue 201 of Hyper. What do you do?

> LOOK

You investigate your surroundings. An attendant stands behind a cash register. Shelves are lined with copies of Hyper as far as the eye can see.

> EAT HYPER

You lift the magazine to your mouth and tentatively take a bite. Its contents, while delicious for the brain, are less than desirable for the tongue, and you can only manage to down a single mouthful. Having a second helping doesn't hold much appeal.

> BUY HYPER

You take your copy of Hyper to the counter. The person behind the register looks at it, then at you. "Why is there a huge bite taken out of this?" But as if deciding that your response would be wasting precious seconds, they shrug dismissively and process your transaction. Cha-ching! Issue 201 of Hyper is yours!

CONGRATULATION! A WINNER IS YOU!

Yes, Hyper comes forth with another big month, and this issue takes a look at a genre of game that has largely gone overlooked: the text-based adventure. While most of us settle into 3D open worlds or first-person action romps, the dedicated few spend their days keeping this once proud genre alive, letter by letter. We investigate this culture of modern day interactive fiction and use every LOOK and SPEAK command available to us.

Then things change gear and we bring back the polygons. We interview the associate producer of Kane & Lynch 2 amid a four-page hands-on session with the game, as well as nab some one-on-one time with the managing director of Remedy Entertainment to talk about their long-awaited Alan Wake before settling into our review of same. There's also plenty of hands-on previews, from Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, to Transformers: War for Cybertron, to Halo: Reach, and probably some other games with a colon in the title.

Reviews? Well, we've already mentioned Alan Wake, but you can probably guess from the cover the big banana of the issue. Yes, it's Red Dead Redemption, which we dissect over four pages. Then there's the likes of UFC 2010, Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands, WarioWare DIY and the obligatory "more!"

There's also some niceties in our movie section this month, as we sit down with Predators producer Robert Rodriguez and District 9/The A-Team star Sharlto Copley. Then you've got your Barrel, your Top 5, your picture of someone punching a lizard man… you know, the usual.

So, yeah, all that and more! Subscribers are receiving their copies now, but newsagent plebs can get their copies from Wednesday, June 2. Enjoy!

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1482/hyper201ofc2.jpg

[Stevorooni]

You are in your hallway, there is a door to the south, you can hear birds outside

> S

You walked into a wooden door. ouch

> open door

You open the door

> S

You are standing outside. You can see a mailbox southeast from here, and a road.

> SE

You are standing at the mailbox

> open mailbox

The mailbox is locked with a padlock

> NW

You are standing outside. You can see a mailbox southeast from here, and a road.

> N

You are in your hallway, there is a door to the south, you can hear birds outside

> N

You are in your living room. There is a keyrack here with many keys

> get key

You pick up the car keys

> get mailbox keys

You are holding too many items and cannot pick it up

> drop car keys

You dropped the car keys on the floor

> get mailbox key

you pick up the mailbox key

> S

You are in your hallway, there is a door to the south, you can hear birds outside

> S

You are standing outside. You can see a mailbox southeast from here, and a road.

> SE

You are standing at the mailbox

> open mailbox

The mailbox is locked with a padlock

> unlock mailbox

I do not understand the command

> use mailbox key

you use the mailbox key to unlock the mailbox

> open mailbox

you open the mailbox. There is nothing inside

> lock mailbox

I do not understand the command

> shit **** **** shit

woah! watch the language there buddy!

> use mailbox key

you can't lock the mailbox while it is open!

> close mailbox

you close the mailbox

> use mailbox key

you lock the mailbox

> quit game

[/backslash]

> N

You walk outside, there is a mailbox nearby

> open mailbox

There is no mail, you haven't subscribed to Hyper yet

> doh!

Yes, doh indeed

> close mailbox

you closed the mailbox

> N

there is a newsagency down the street

> walk into newsagency, buy Hyper

there is no Hyper here, you should've subscribed

> go into coma

You are now in a coma, by the time you wake up there will be no Hyper for you to read

[Mr.Mew]

As much as I feel obligated to role play out a text based adventure such as the last two posts I'm just going to note that the Red Dead Redemption review is probably the first I've read on a game which I've already fully played. Just genuinely interested in reading what someone thinks of the game, and paid to do so moreover.

Nice cover btw. Kane, Lynch and John should all get together some time and play Texas Hold'em.

[Mr Pie]

I loved every bit of this delicious issue, especially that word warrior guy. Unless that was last issue...

[Lazlow]

So how do people feel that Issue 201 marks the final Bottom of the Barrel?

[Spazzola]

Only just glanced through, will probably read properly over the next few days (sorry english and philosophy, Hyper is far more entertaining). Although the above text-based adventures did make me think of the Warioware DIY on p60-61. Speaking of which, caption/picture on p60 in the top right made me produce an immature little giggle.

[AranchineD]

So how do people feel that Issue 201 marks the final Bottom of the Barrel?

Oh well.

[Allick]

An article on gaming headphones? Just as I'm looking for gaming headphones? Sounds good.

Also four pages of RDR...

[Mr Pie]

So how do people feel that Issue 201 marks the final Bottom of the Barrel?

Last.... BOTTOM OF THE BARREL... EVERRRRR!
Thats kind of shitty... Really shitty.

[Jickle]

So how do people feel that Issue 201 marks the final Bottom of the Barrel?

I hadn't gotten around to announcing that yet (outside of Twitter >_>). But yes! Final Bottom of the Barrel. I also wrote the Transformers preview. Bam.

[/backslash]

Damn, now I have to buy this for the historic event :p

[Mr Pie]

In about 5 years, Hyper 201 will be worth millions.

[Mr.Mew]

In about 5 years, Hyper 201 will be worth millions.

Mister. I don't like your attitude.

[Stevorooni]

So how do people feel that Issue 201 marks the final Bottom of the Barrel?

What? :(

I hope that means that Bottom of the Barrel is spinning off into its own magazine

[McChimp]

Last.... BOTTOM OF THE BARREL... EVERRRRR!
Thats kind of shitty... Really shitty.

Seconded. LOVE that article. Dunno why, but I've ALWAYS taken great joy in reading reviews/ coverage of REALLY $hitty games, and how badly reviewers burn them. Please don't let it end!!

[enrique]

No more bottom of the barrel? :(

The injustice of this cruel world! I'm going to buy several copies of 201 and have every page laminated so future generations can enjoy the goodness of this part of Hyper.

As compensation can we have a special Bottom of the Barrel edition of the magazine? You know like the posterbooks..

[BB2K]

I'd like to see Jickle have a new page called 'Peak of the Mountain,' in which he plays some of the most critically acclaimed games.

[Jay]

Whereas I want to see him writing a column called 'Middle of the Road', because those games are ****ing retardedly hard to write about.

[Lazlow]

He's being replaced with an attractive blonde woman in her early 20s... the words "mass appeal" were used.

[Jay]

They left out 'turbate'.

[BB2K]

With big boobs.

[AranchineD]

EARLY 20s?

Oh Lazlow.

[Lazlow]

:(

sadface

[Mr Pie]

I'd like to see Jickle have a new page called 'Peak of the Mountain,' in which he plays some of the most critically acclaimed games.
Then he bags the crap out of them.

[Stevorooni]

Maybe Jickle can write a Bottom of the Barrel article once a month and post it here. We can pay him in pep!

[enrique]

Maybe Jickle can write a Bottom of the Barrel article once a month and post it here. We can pay him in pep!

Sir I would like to subscribe to your newsletter....

[RunningMild]

Then he bags the crap out of them.

lol, I forgot that the original purpose of BOTB was to find the positives in shitty games. Obviously that was impossible with some of the more recent entries. :p

[/backslash]

Couldn't find the latest Hyper today, my newsagent said "next week" but he's been so unreliable lately that I'd be better off going to a bigger newsagent :( Bought Zoo Weekly for $2 instead

[Australian Ninja]

Couldn't find the latest Hyper today, my newsagent said "next week" but he's been so unreliable lately that I'd be better off going to a bigger newsagent :( Bought Zoo Weekly for $2 instead

I would have just thrown the $2 in the gutter instead. Better value imo.:)

[/backslash]

I find it sorta half interesting (I don't buy it just for the girls, they're usually not that good anyway). Its about the same level of interest when it comes to buying a newspaper, there's a couple of things that make it readable & different from pure game related talk

And I only ever buy it when its on special so its a pretty rare purchase

[Lazlow]

Sure slashy, whatever you say (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IReadItForTheArticles) ;)

[/backslash]

Believe what you want but its true. Everyone should know by now that for me "perfect" bodies don't interest me. Give me a real woman anyday ;)

[Spazzola]

Believe what you want but its true. Everyone should know by now that for me "perfect" bodies don't interest me. Give me a real woman anyday ;)

Yeah, because most 'real' women don't give men papercuts.

[/backslash]

Oh I fell into that one... :p

[FX-GTZ]

I saw a small article about fallout 3 for a special unique quest about Oasis and that tree, Harold. It was a very different quest compared to what the others offer (big town people rescuing, search for sugar bombs for some ghoul's silly experiment etc).

So thanks yeah, thanks Hyper. I had a alot of joy in doing that quest.
If it werent for that article, i might never have ever done the quest yet alone find it!

[TimmyJ]

Good issue, and I like the recent changes to the layout. Also, bagging out Vanille = WIN. She is annoying as hell.

[Australian Ninja]

I find it sorta half interesting (I don't buy it just for the girls, they're usually not that good anyway). Its about the same level of interest when it comes to buying a newspaper, there's a couple of things that make it readable & different from pure game related talk

And I only ever buy it when its on special so its a pretty rare purchase

I could have forgiven you if you did buy it for the pics, as that is the only point to it imo. The thing I hate about ZOO (and Ralph / FHM) is the level of stupidity that oozes from their very pages, the written content is just so trashy and without purpose. I feel sorry for the writers (who are generally intelligent people) who have to write down such rubbish, but at least they get PAID for their writing.

Paying FOR such content though, that is truly unforgiveable!:D

[RunningMild]

I liked the War For Cybertron preview. It contained some info I hadn't already read (who says print media is always out of date? ;) ) and got me even more excited for the game. However Jickle, I feel I should warn you- Bumblebee is actually (AFAIK) one of the most popular Transformers ever, so brace for a shitload of hate mail. :p

On another note, nice to see Carmageddon 64 getting a run in BOTB, aka. the game with graphics so bad that they couldn't even render the spinning N logo properly. I still remember the first time I drove full speed into an underground tunnel and ended up hitting the roof because of the floaty physics. Or the first time I tried going around a corner, hit the barricade and did a backflip on the spot. :facepalm:

The funny thing about that game is, it's a racing game where you're not actually supposed to race. Going through checkpoints gives you no money or extra time, so what you have to do is drive around ramming the other cars until they explode, and whenever you see a pack of zombies, run them over to extend the time limit and get money to repair your car with (also, it was funny how they would explode with the slightest tap). This is further evidenced by the AI, because after the race starts they'll immediately stop racing and try ramming each other. I have fond-ish memories of T-boning cars against buildings, off bridges, and various other things. :p

An interesting bit of trivia: British publication 64 Magazine gave this game 0%, with a comment that said 'Yes, zero percent! Absolutely the worst N64 game ever!' However, when Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue (which featured in an earlier BOTB IIRC) came along, they thought it was even worse than Carmageddon, which resulted in a score of -25%. To this day, it's the only time I've ever seen a reviewer give a negative score.

Speaking of reviews, I bought the game on the strength of that 9/10 N64 Gamer review that you mentioned, because they made it sound like an absolute classic. Later when they reviewed the GBC version, they said 'This is almost as bad as the N64 version, and that my friends was terrible indeed'. I was just sitting there thinking 'Well then, why the **** did you give it 9/10 and masturbate all over it like it was the best driving game of all time?' The other thing is, while the Superman 64 score was amended from 6/10 to 23% when they changed scoring systems, the Carmageddon 64 score stood at 90% IIRC.

[AranchineD]

Uh...zombies?

What game were you playing?

[Mr Pie]

Did you read BOTB Aran? Because they mentioned zombies.

[AranchineD]

I haven't bought the magazine yet.

And I'm guessing that means Jickle played the German or UK version of the game then.

[Mr Pie]

I have no idea. But it definitely mentioned zombies.

[RunningMild]

And I'm guessing that means Jickle played the German or UK version of the game then.

The German and UK versions had dinosaurs and robots and stuff in them. Aussie version had zombies.

[AranchineD]

No, I'm pretty sure the Australian version was uncensored.

[RunningMild]

No, I'm pretty sure the Australian version was uncensored.

The version I got had zombies. The version that all the Aussie magazines reviewed had zombies. If you found one with humans in it I'd love to know where you got it from, because you seem to be the only person in the world who knows about it.

You are talking about the N64 one, right? The PC one was apparently uncensored but the N64 one had zombies all along.

[TSplodey]

Quite liked the vertical review layout for this issue.

[AranchineD]

If you found one with humans in it I'd love to know where you got it from

The shops.

[Jickle]

Yeah, zombies was best-case scenario all over the world for the 64 version of that game. Nintendo was still very into censorship at that point.

[RunningMild]

The shops.

But was that the N64 version, or the PC version?

This is where you say 'PC' and I tell you to 'l2read' and we move on. :p

[Australian Ninja]

Speaking of Zombies, the commentary on Zombieland is good fun. Carmageddon 64 could do with a commentary: "This is the part where we just gouged out our eyes with forks and tried to pretend we had nothing to do with it and let the pizza delivery boy take over finishing the game" etc.

[Mr Pie]

I've just been reminiscing and reading all the old bottom of the barrel articles... Good times.

[Mr Pie]

I think we also need nominations for Jickles replacement.
I nominate Australian Ninja.

[Australian Ninja]

I think we also need nominations for Jickles replacement.
I nominate Australian Ninja.

While it was an honour to be nominated, most folk round these parts don't much care for my mostly childish humour and inappropriate comments. While I'd like to track down those individuals, gouge their eyes out with a :)fork:) then pour boiling hot wax into their ocular :eek:cavities :eek: and add lit sparklers for a garnish (so they could have stars in their eyes), but that would take far far too long..... instead I'll leave them with three of these:p:p:p

I do find your post amusing though.

*Moving along....

The article about, well I forget the title - but the one about interactive fiction games was pretty gosh darn interesting, it was the highlight of the mag this month for me. It had me wanting to learn more about these sorts of fiction/games the end of it. Well done!

How did it end up in Hyper? I did not recognise the name attached.

>> Recycled humour - If it's not funny the first time, then it's funny by the tenth time you repeat it.

[lex3191]

anyone know who the new editor will be?

[Gameboffin]

I know but you'll have to wait until the next issue.

[Stevorooni]

It's this inanimate carbon rod!

[lex3191]

I know but you'll have to wait until the next issue.

i hope it's darren and not some ring-in who will come in a stuff up the mag.

[BB2K]

I believe your prayers will go unanswered, lex3191.
Jickle doesn't need a replacement though, as I'm pretty sure he's staying, just not the BotB column itself.

[lex3191]

so you know something BB2K?

[BB2K]

In a way. More precisely, I don't know something, but also know one thing about the I don't know something about.

[Jickle]

The new editor is actually mentioned in the mag, if you look carefully.

[Lazlow]

Let's just say, I ain't buying it anymore.

[lex3191]

oh dear. as long as Jickle's in it cant be all bad right... right. i just scoured the mag. dear god. tell me it isn't true.

[Spazzola]

Lazlow said he isn't buying the magazine anymore. He may be getting free copies given to him because...oh dear god, was that who you meant?

[BB2K]

The new editor is actually mentioned in the mag, if you look carefully.

Is he mentioned as being the new editor, or just mentioned?

[lex3191]

Lazlow said he isn't buying the magazine anymore. He may be getting free copies given to him because...oh dear god, was that who you meant?

Nah Lazlows on the level. i just cancelled my subscription. that is all i have to say!!

[Mr Pie]

So... The new edittor will be none other than God, master of whatever he does.
Can we see his resume?

[Mr.Mew]

I have a question.

We get a lot of games mags from overseas, like American/European Gamepro and stuff like that. Does Hyper get shipped over seas at all?

[Lazlow]

It goes to New Zealand >_>

[Mr.Mew]

Is that in Tasmania somewhere?

[sausage]

Yeah, right next to your MUM.

[Mr Pie]

I have a question.

We get a lot of games mags from overseas, like American/European Gamepro and stuff like that. Does Hyper get shipped over seas at all?

Yes, But overseas does cost extra.

[REQUIEM]

Fantastic mag this month bravo, it felt like the mag had taken a breath of fresh air with the new look IMO.(I got used to it this edition) The RDR review was excellent and by far the best Hyper review in a long while. It reminded me of the reviews of old back in the classic ZZap 64 and C&VG days by the way the emotion of playing the game spilt out onto the page. I had already clocked over 30 hours of playtime and related with everything I read.

edit: since read all things topic :( (mistake IMO)

[Australian Ninja]

I believe your prayers will go unanswered, lex3191.
Jickle doesn't need a replacement though, as I'm pretty sure he's staying, just not the BotB column itself.

Yeah, I found that comment strange - Jickle does other stuff too.

[Jay]

IMHO the decision to drop BotB is completely short-sighted and out of touch, displaying an extraordinary lack of understanding of their audience. I don't know Mr Fordham - I stopped reading PCPP when I realised how ****ing boring it was (sorry Pres - I love your stuff!) to read endless articles about overclocking your PC to make your dick bigger - but if this is indicative of the direction he and the management are taking things then I for one am dubious about the future of the magazine.

[lex3191]

Yeah, I found that comment strange - Jickle does other stuff too.

i wasnt referring to Jickle, i was referring to a guy with the attitude that 'PC is the only gaming platform for hardcore gamers' taking over the helm of a multi-platform magazine

[REQUIEM]

I for one am dubious about the future of the magazine.

I am a little also. The personal History and what made Hyper Hyper is now in a grey area for myself and yet to be proven,reading Hyper was like wearing your favorite pair of sneakers as you always knew what to expect. Only time will tell. The Initials DW (both new and old) are not easy shoes to fill (no pun intended). Hyper has always felt like a safe haven for an Aussie gamer with the same views as mine on most occasions over the past decade etc and without certain staff it will now rely on the unknown.

[Stevorooni]

Well hopefully they'll still retain most of their contributors so reviews and so fourth should remain mostly the same.

Only have 1 issue left in my subscription, might leave it a bit before resubscribing and see how it all goes.

[Gameboffin]

I'll still be contributing if that... helps? Passion of the Gamer still seems to be a go, and I've got a 4 page review next issue of a very awesome game.

I'm sure I can speak for James in saying we freelancers will do our best to keep the Hyper dream alive!

[Mr Pie]

Hooray For Freelancers!

[REQUIEM]

I'll still be contributing if that... helps? Passion of the Gamer still seems to be a go, and I've got a 4 page review next issue of a very awesome game.

I'm sure I can speak for James in saying we freelancers will do our best to keep the Hyper dream alive!

Good to hear boffin, I admit you are an aquired taste much like Kopi Luwak but I have gotten use to your monthly dialogue so I hope to read more in the future.

[Australian Ninja]

I seriously doubt Hyper will turn into Evil Corporate Nazi Megazine Monthtly. Staff come and go from magazines, while the good ones will be missed (especially Wilks and Wells / The DW's) it seems people are panicking for no real reason. It's not like Hyper has not changed staff members before.

While I care about the quality of the magazine, I'm not going to start condemning the mag, the company or the staff for doing their job. Their job is to sell a magazine, if staff leave, more people need to be employed to perform those duties.

Rest assured, if Hyper does become a significantly lesser magazine, I would consider dropping it. But certainly not just because some staff members change, that's been going on since day #1.

Quit crying over nothing babies! How can you judge the mag without looking at the next six months, to see what direction it goes in? I mean WTF.

[Lazlow]

if staff leave, more people need to be employed to perform those duties.


Except they didn't employ more people. They bypassed Darren, choosing instead to have Fordham manage both PCPP and Hyper; a person who has written material for PCPP that contained anti-console gaming subtext. People are cautious as to what influence he'll have after Bottom of the Barrel was cut. Is Hyper going to turn into the dreary neckbearding borefest that PCPP is?

I'd be curious to know if there's any correlation between Fordham starting his second stint as PCPP editor and Darren Wells coming over to Hyper >_>

[Frostillicus]

Except they didn't employ more people. They bypassed Darren, choosing instead to have Fordham manage both PCPP and Hyper; a person who has written material for PCPP that contained anti-console gaming subtext. People are cautious as to what influence he'll have after Bottom of the Barrel was cut. Is Hyper going to turn into the dreary neckbearing borefest that PCPP is?


Exactly.

[sausage]

How you managed to quote laz and lose the 'b' in neckbearding I'll never know.

[Jay]

How you managed to quote laz and lose the 'b' in neckbearding I'll never know.

The 'b' or the 'd'?

[sausage]

hmm yes, good point; I blame the drugs myself.

[Lazlow]

How you managed to quote laz and lose the 'b' in neckbearding I'll never know.

Note the post/edit times; read the edit note

>_>

<_<

:D

[sausage]

:cool:

[Craig Davidson]

Aerith?! How can you say that she is among the worst of the RPG Companions?! She is actually a pivotal character in Final Fantasy VII, and you consider her to be terrible?! Now Selphie, perhaps. Yuffie, perhaps. Vanille, definitely, but Aerith?! I don't know what you were drinking when you thought of that, but I still believe that Aerith should have been given some respect. After all, she is important.

[Spazzola]

Kevin Rudd is important, but people are rapidly losing respect for him. Your point?

[Lazlow]

After finding out he said "Those Chinese f***ers are trying to rat-f*** us" at Copenhagen, how can you not respect Rudd?!?!

[Jay]

Aerith?! How can you say that she is among the worst of the RPG Companions?! She is actually a pivotal character in Final Fantasy VII, and you consider her to be terrible?! Now Selphie, perhaps. Yuffie, perhaps. Vanille, definitely, but Aerith?! I don't know what you were drinking when you thought of that, but I still believe that Aerith should have been given some respect. After all, she is important.

Really? I'd have thought that was a pretty typical Staines move myself. Stir up a bit of controversy, get the fanboys ranting (see above). More interesting is how little passion it stirred up, I reckon.

[Lazlow]

Cock blocking bitch got her comeuppance

[Australian Ninja]

Really? I'd have thought that was a pretty typical Staines move myself. Stir up a bit of controversy, get the fanboys ranting (see above). More interesting is how little passion it stirred up, I reckon.

Meh, it's been done to death. (bashing some character or other)

[REQUIEM]

Gamboffin came off abit "Good Cop Bad Cop" this month, maybe he is looking for more pages per month.

Edit: I do suppose they are available now...